The Ten Greatest Pro Evo Legends... EVER!

The Ten Greatest Pro Evo Legends... EVER!

You've probably heard the devastating news that Pro Evo is no more. 

From now on, it will be free and known as eFootball, which sounds completely shit.

To mourn a teenage rite of passage, we’ve dug into the depths of our collective memories/wasted youth to choose our top ten Pro Evo cult heroes. Don’t @ us.

 

10 - El Hadji Diouf

 

After the 2002 World Cup, PES properly drunk the Diouf Kool-Aid and made the Senegal forward insanely good in the game. He was beyond rapid, could finish with aplomb, had skills to pay bills and was able to do various other acts of wizardry that were completely lacking from his actual, real-life game.

 

9 – Pavel Nedved

You couldn’t get the ball off him. Incredibly irritating to play against but an absolute joy to control. He also looked slightly sinister, which added to the appeal, to be honest.

 

8 – Ronaldinho

With technique and dribbling set at 97, you couldn’t really go wrong with Ronny in your team. Pro Evo 4 was his annus mirabilis (that’s Latin for ‘fucking great year’).

 

7 – Obafemi Martins

 

Wayyyyyy better in Pro Evo than in real life – although, unlike El Hadji Diouf, he had moments of brilliance during his actual career. But he also played for Birmingham City, so…

 

6 – Samuel Eto’o

 

At Barcelona and Inter, Sammy was sen-sat-ional – both in reality and in PES world. He could accelerate faster than a drag car and had quicker feet than Michael Flatley on speed. Worth a two-goal head start if he was in your team.

 

5 – Wayne Rooney

 

When he burst on to the scene as a teenager, PES very much liked what they saw and promptly elevated the little Scouse man-child to god-like status on the game. He was fast, strong, and could score from pretty much anywhere.

 

4 – Thierry Henry

 

His Pro Evo 4 stats go something like this: 98 in Attack, 96 Acceleration, 95 Shot Accuracy, 97 Technique. It was probably a fair summation of the Frenchman’s talents back then.

 

3 – Kaka

 

Back in 2009, it looked like Kaka would firmly establish himself as one of the world’s best players. It never quite happened – not for long enough, anyway. But he will forever be one of the bona fide greats on Pro Evo 9 where he could, like his beloved Jesus, turn water into wine.

 

2 – Alvaro Recoba

 

PES programmers loved Inter, didn’t they? I mean, to be fair Recoba was very decent – but in the game he was given extra-terrestrial abilities that made him impossible to defend against.

 

1 – Adriano 

1 – Adriano

 

Obviously he’s number one.

The truth is, for a few short seasons, Adriano Leite Ribeiro was – as the cliché goes – unplayable. At Parma and then, initially, back at Inter after his return to the San Siro, L'Imperatore was a lethal cocktail of brute and beauty.

It didn’t last though. The death of his father, his struggles with addiction and a physique that wore the signs of his party boy lifestyle combined to ensure the Brazilian’s star faded far too soon.

His legacy, however, lives on. And that’s largely thanks to Pro Evo. For anyone who played the game in the mid-to-late noughties, this guy will have been a very important part of your life.

Adriano’s obscene thunder-bastardry was most prominent on Pro Evo 5, where he was on another level. Select Inter or Brazil, get him on the ball and he’d deliver physics-defying magic at the press of a button (the square button, to be precise).

He was a cheat code. And we loved him.

 

 

 

Leave a comment