If everybody looked the same, we’d get tired of looking at each other. Do you know which famous “philosopher” said that? Groove Armada. The point we think they were making is this: weird football shirts are great. The weirder the better, we reckon. And we also think you shouldn’t have to break the bank to add them to your collection.
We’ve picked out ten such jerseys: future classics, for sure, which come with a very affordable price tag and the quirkiness turned up to 11.
Unam Pumas - Home - 2021/2022
A big old golden puma head in the middle of the shirt? UNAM are one of those wonderful, rare institutions: a club that doesn’t do bad kits. Guaranteed, bonafide bangers, every season. Like this one. You need it – and you know it. Buy it here.
Loch Ness - Away - 2021/2022
A sea monster on the front of the Loch Ness shirt? Obviously yes. Nessie sits (swims?) proudly on the club’s 2021/22 away jersey. They play in the North Caledonian group of Scottish feeder leagues, if you were wondering. Buy it here.
San Marino - Away - 2022/2023
San Marino have been a byword for ‘getting proper smashed’ over the years. And that’s why we love ‘em. The tiny microstate celebrates goals like they’ve won the World Cup, which is reason enough to let them into your heart by adding one of their shirts to your collection. The away 2022/2023 jersey from Errea is definitely one of their best. Buy it here.
Pennsylvania Prime - Away - 2022/2023
Forget the MLS. And ignore the USL. Because, *checks notes*, the UPSL (America’s fourth division) is where it’s at. This season’s Pennsylvania Prime strip is as weird as it is lovely. Buy it here.
Las Vegas Lights - Home - 2022/2023
If, like me, you’ve been to Las Vegas and lost all your money, self-respect and integrity, take some solace from the fact the local football club has a proper nice Meyba kit. The multi-coloured zig-zag lines are supposed to represent the spirit of the city and not a margarita-induced migraine. Buy it here.
Cremonese - Away - 2022/2023
If you grew up in the 90s on a diet of Sunny Delight, Pop Tarts and James Richardson, you’ll have a tiny corner in your heart dedicated to the then minnows of Serie A. Cremonese always sounded like a dish you tried on a first date to impress your new squeeze, only to realise you’d made a terrible mistake when it arrived in front of you. The little northern club have had some lovely kits over the years, like this season’s away strip – which comes with a red hoop and long sleeves at a very reasonable price. Buy it here.
Tijuana - Special Pink Shirt – 2021
Tijuana lady, let's take it slow
I know that I'm no head honcho
I'll keep you warm in my silky poncho.
The words there of 90s indie rockers Gomez. Which is completely irrelevant, other than to say Tijuana’s 2021 pink shirt – released to raise awareness of breast cancer – is sort of like a silky poncho. In a way. Maybe.
Anyway, the key takeaway from all this is the following: lovely kit, not very expensive, buy. Buy it here.
Club America - Away - 2020/2021
It speaks volumes about how lovely this Club America shirt is that even that weird little Home Depot logo doesn’t ruin it. If you don’t have a CA jersey in your collection, do you even like football shirts? Or being happy? Or your life? No. The answer is no. Buy it here.
Japan - Home - 2020/2021
Did you know that Japan consists of 6,852 islands? Or that its people have the world’s highest life expectancy? Or that its national football team only wears banging shirts? It’s not a trick, is it, knowledge, education?
Montserrat - Away - 2021/2022
Shirt collectors love to buy kits from the smaller nations. And they don’t come much smaller than Montserrat – an island with a population of around 5,000 people. Their 2021/22 away shirt, from American manufacturer Bol and inspired by the history of Montserrat and its Emerald Boys, is very unusual/nice/worth buying. Buy it here.