Spooky season is upon us and to celebrate we’ve picked out ten villains, vigilantes and downright agents of chaos who did their best to take the art of the foul to a whole new level. 

Now as Halloween is for the kids we’ve gone less Keane ending Haaland’s career or Schumacher putting Battiston in a coma and more Emre getting kicked in the bollocks for being a racist. You know, to set a good impression for the kids. 

From the absurd, comical and rich world of football fouls, we’ve picked out ten of our absolute favourites. Just remember, it doesn’t matter what the ball is doing so long as the striker chasing after it no longer has any knees. 

Massing on Canniggia Italia 90

The first guy didn’t get him, the second guy didn’t get him, Benjamin Massing sure as hell got him. While we’ve attempted to steer clear of too many fouls you’ve already seen in this list, Massing’s assault at Italia 90 will literally never get old. 

Eric Cantona on Michel Der Zakarian, 1988

Way before he was drop kicking fans in England, Cantona was drop kicking fellow players in France. The technique was undoubtably strong even in his early days. Arguably the best bit of the clip is when he decides to start apologising before immediately losing his cool again and nearly KO’ing two men with one slap. Classic Eric. 

GRAEME SOUNESS on Gheorghe Rotariu, 1988

The absolute gold standard of red cards. The foul itself is an abomination, everything after it is absolutely glorious. Souness delivering an impassioned plea for the ref to look at the ankle tap he had received moments before his assault occurred - all to end up with a yellow anyway.

Didier Zokora on Emre Belozoglu, 2012

Is this the greatest foul ever? With a little context, yes, it probably is. Months prior, Fenerbahce’s Emre had been found guilty of racially abusing Zokora. When they met again Zokora and his teammates produced nothing short of a beat down on the man who had multiple times throughout his career been accused of racism. It all culminated in Zokora’s glorious flying nut shot.

Jason Cousins on David Moss, 1993

There’s something genuinely brilliant about Martin O’Neill softly talking over one of the worst challenges ever seen in English football. “Jason Cousins got himself sent off… again”. His two footed horror challenge cleared the ball by a good half a metre. Rest assured though Cousins “doesn’t like to be reminded of it.” 

Jason Demetriou on Domen Crnigoj, 2018 

At first it looks like your big standard professional foul, it’s only when we are treated to the slow-mo reverse view that we really get to enjoy the full majesty of the challenge. As the ball sails past him, Cyprus’ captain is 100% focused on the task at hand, and he executes said task perfectly.

Taras Stepanenko vs Moldova, 2013

A classic of the eyes on the ball high boot genre of red card - Stepanenko slammed into the poor Moldovan defenders head so hard he almost did a full somersault himself. Credit to him though, he did seem genuinely remorseful.

Josip Simunic on Miralem Sulejmani, 2013

In the same field as Massing’s legendary foul on Canniggia but somehow with even more brute force. Serbia’s Miralem Sulejmani stood absolutely no chance. 

Estonian second division Rakvere JK Tarvas vs FC Puuma, 2012

It takes something pretty special for a clip of an Estonian second division match to go viral, and pretty special is exactly what this challenge is. While some crucial context may be missing from the clip it effectively appears to be a genuine assault. Swinging for the defenders midriff before booting the ball at him like an aggrieved 12 year old.

Ukraine U-21’s vs Austria U-21’s, 2013

There have been many great reasons for picking up a second yellow card - running into the crowd after scoring, removing your shirt in wild celebration and kicking the ball away in disgust have all seen players taking an early bath. Miscontrolling a ball directly into an opponents face in full view of the ref is probably the absolute best of them.

Words by Andy Gallagher